s burned through the back of it.
	Well, just fix it, Tarrin, Sarraya told him airily.  Clean up and well go.  If you keep delaying us like this, Kerris brats going to be on the throne before we get there.
	You do the mending, Sarraya, he told her.  I cant really see what Im doing, I may botch it.  Ill do the cleaning.
	Yes, your magnificent eminence, she said outrageously, giving him a little curtsy before flitting up into the air.  Cleaning off the dirt and the blood was as simple as using a weave of Air and Water, which scoured him from head to foot and stripped away all the dirt, sweat, mud, dust, and dried blood that covered him.  The spell gathered the mess up into a compact little ball, on which he then used Sorcery to Transmute the blood into pure water.  Once the danger of the blood was neutralized, he used Druidic magic to banish the debris to the compost heap that sat behind the barn on his parents farm.  While he was doing that, Sarraya was flying in erratic circles around him, using her Druidic magic to mend the rips in his clothes, and make the material expand to literally grow over the areas which had been torn away.
	After she was done, Sarraya flew a slow circle around him, then flitted up and landed on his shoulder, seating herself sedately and comfortably there, as she had done so many times before.  It was something that Tarrin barely registered, even after so much time since that had been her favorite seat.  Itll do, she announced after the inspection.  Fireflash bounded up off the table and took up his place on Tarrins other shoulder.
	Well, I guess were all ready, then, Jenna announced.  Lets gather in, and Ill take us to see Kerri.
	As they all got up and gathered around Jenna in the open area between the table and the door, Tarrin felt a strange reservation rise up in him.  The others seemed to have accepted this drastic alteration in him, though Jesmind seemed very concerned about it all, but they were his friends, his family.  It was the reaction of the strangers in Wikuna that would tell the tale of how well he would be received with this dramatic change in him.  He already knew how the gods felt about him, and now it was time to see how the mortals would react to him.  Would they fear him as the gods did?  Would they receive him, accept him despite the obvious and drastic change in him, or would they reject him?
	He could feel them now, feel every square finger of them.  The fire that made up his wings was truly alive, was truly a part of his body, was truly a part of him.  He could sense it, feel it, knew that it was just like any other part of him.  The wings could move, and they could feel, and they were irrevocably bound to him, body and soul.  They were the mark of the terrible thing that had happened to him, a symbol of the drastic change within him, and an unending memory of the cruel fate to which the Elder gods had abandoned him.  There was still a great deal of anger in him towards them, for after all he had done for them, that they would turn their backs on him and leave him to die.  They were too wrapped up in their own cowardice, so effete and arogant that they felt that his life was not worth any risk, no matter how minor it may be.  Perhaps he showed some of his own arrogance for thinking that way, but after everything he had done for them, he felt that at the very least they could have allowed the Goddess to come to his aidbut they did not.  They had set the stage, and then when the play steered terribly wrong from their script, they turned their backs on him and left him to face the angry audience alone.
	He had already been cast aside by the gods.  All he had left were the people of the mortal realm, but he knew, deep inside, that it was a world where he no longer really belonged.  He had within him a spark of divine power, something that made him more than mortal, capable of glimpsing into the world that existed behind the one that he had known all his life.  Try as they might, Phandebrass and the others would never truly understand, and that left him alone, alone even as he was surrounded by his friends and family.
	No longer a mortal, yet not a god, and not truly belonging with either side.  He was trapped between the two, caught between the life he had always known, the life he would try to continue to live, and the awful reality of what lay beyond, summed up in the fear behind the eyes of the gods that had looked down on him from above.  A life of uncertainty, a life which could be taken from him the instant the gods felt that he was too dangerous to allow to live.  He would fight them if it ever came to that, and it was in that struggle where the ultimate danger he posed to the gods, to the mortals, to the very world itself would lay.  Unable to do anything but fight back, to follow his Were-cat nature and instincts, Tarrin would defend himself, and in that defense he might very well upset the Balance that none of them, not even him, wanted to disturb.  But no matter what he felt, how dangerous fighting back would be, he would be unable to stop himself.  Self-preservation was the most powerful instinct of all in a Were-cat.  And that left him trapped once again.
	He was trapped by his condition.  He was trapped by his instincts.  And he was trapped by a terrible fate that would befall them all should the gods act against him, a fate that he would not be able to avoid or control.  He was trapped.
	Trapped.
 
Chapter 17

	Wikuna was cold.
	The city was very far north, so far north that the city only enjoyed a few hours of sunlight a day during the heart of winter, so far north that the Skybands were a brilliant cascade of color that consumed the entire southern side of the sky.  That cold had a way of seeping into everything around it, invading homes and freezing virtually all water except for the harbor.  Despite being so far north, the immense harbor of Wikuna never froze, having to do with warm-water currents that terminated literally in the mouth of the wide harbor.  It was so warm that there was a perpetual mist of filmy fog that clung to the surface of the water, making it look like the many ships anchored in the wide basin were floating on a sea of clouds.
	They appeared in the place where Keritanima had deemed the appropriate landing area for all Teleporting Sorcerers who came to visit her, and that was a very large empty room on the top floor of the palace, which had a massive set of windows that faced the harbor.  It was the only place where it was absolutely guaranteed that there would be nobody potentially in the landing area.  Locking a door and telling nobody to go into a room only invited the curious to investigate it, so Keritanima kept the door to that locked and Warded at all times.  There was only way way into that room, and the Ward kept out the curious.
	Tarrin felt the icy chill in the room, and their breath steamed in the frosty air.  Such was the nature of things in Wikuna, where the cold was so pervasive that only rooms with a fireplace held any heat at all.  That was why so many rooms had hearths.  Eron pulled his cloak around him as Dar gave out a gasp and scrambled to touch the Weave and weave a spell of Fire around them, a dome of gentle warmth that kept that knifing cold at bay.
	You are such a baby, Dar! Jasana accused as Tara and Rina rushed to the window, putting their paws against it and looking out in wide-eyed wonder.
	Dar, Camara, and me are from tropical climates, Koran Tal told her shortly.  This may not be cold for you, but its bloody freezing to us.
	Youre going to have a rough time of it here, Koran, Tarrin said absently, almost in a subdued manner.  For Wikuna in the winter, this is warm.
	Were inside! Dar protested.  You mean its colder out there?
	Go put your hands on the glass, Tarrin told him.  Its much colder outside than it is in here.
	Dar made a face.  Kerri just had to have this baby in the dead of winter! he complained.  She could have had it in the summer, but no, she had to drag us all up here in the middle of winter and freeze us all to death!  Is she mad at us, Tarrin?  Is this her way of getting even for something?
	As much as you used to tease her, I wouldnt be surprised, Camara Tal told him with a wolfish smile.
	Tarrin barely registered them, for his eyes were on the door.  On the other side of that portal lay the general Wikuni population, and their reactions to him were going to tell him how easy it was going to be to live with this change.  It wasnt that he was so worried about how others thought about him.  It was more than that.  He didnt belong anymore, and since he was obviously rejected by the gods, the only chance he had to find any peace, find a place to live, was to find acceptance with the mortals.  And if not acceptance, then at least tolerance.  What happened here in Wikuna would decide whether Tarrin roamed the world, or he remained hidden in the Frontier, in his house, for most of the rest of his life.  How well the mortals could accept his strangeness here, now, was going to be the deciding factor in whether or not he continued to move among them.  It wasnt that he was afraid of what they thought, it was that he was afraid of what effect he might have.  If the Wikuni feared him, branded him some kind of monster, an abomination, they might try to drive him out.  If that was how they reacted, it might very well be how most others reacted as well.  If showing up in a city meant facing an angry mob, then it was best for everyone if he simply didnt show up.
	The only advantage in this for him was that though the gods knew what he was, the mortals didnt.  They only had the wings as an indication that he was not what he appeared to be, and it was their reaction to those wings, to that physical trait, that was going to decide what they thought of him.  The gods feared him because of what he was.  He had no doubt that the mortals would be afraid if they knew what he was, but it was the appearance of what he was that mattered here.  The wings were exotic, unique, and undeniably magical.  There was no easy explanation for them.
	But he wasnt the only one thinking about that, he realized.  Listen to me, all of you, Dolanna called in a stern, serious voice.  What Tarrin told us before we came here must never go beyond us.  I am sure that most of you understand that, but some of us might not, she said, looking directly at Jasana, Tara, and Rina.  If anyone asks what happened to Tarrin, you are to say that the wings are the result of a catastrophic magical accident caused by the battle with Stragos Bane.  Nothing more.  Do not elaborate.  Is this understood?
	But-- Tara started.
	There are no buts! Kimmie told her with heat and adamance, which rocked the cub back on her heels.  Kimmie almost never used a tone of voice like that, even when Tara was driving her crazy.  Do you want to get your father in trouble, Tara?  Do you want to mess everything up?  Well? she demanded.
	N-No, she stammered, shocked that her mother would speak with such authority.
	Then do as you were told! she snapped.  I know its not easy to lie, but in this, cub, we all have to swallow our disgust of it and carry through with it!  She pointed her finger at both her cubs.  If someone asks, you say exactly what Dolanna said.  The wings are an accident of magic from when your father killed Bane.  You say nothing more.  If someone presses you for more information, tell them you dont know.  If they still press you, get away from them and come find an adult.  Is that clear?
	Yes, Mama, the twins said in unison, their heads bobbing.
	Tarrin looked down at Dolanna, who looked up at him and smiled, patting him on the arm.  Sometimes he felt truly blessed to have the friends he had.
	Oh, Tarrin, you left the Cats Claws sitting on the table back at the Tower, Jenna realized as Jula lowered the Ward on the door and opened it.  It was a very plain, generic Ward, something that any Sorcerer capable of Teleporting could unravel with ease.
	Tarrin Summoned them to him, then sent them into the elsewhere as the three cubs came from the window and rejoined them.
	You know, we never told Kerri we were coming, Sarraya said with an impish grin.
	She already knows were here, Jenna told her.  Besides, I told her we were coming when I went out to see Ianelle.
	Whyd you go and do that? Sarraya asked.  We had the perfect chance to surprise her!
	I do not think surprise is going to be a problem, Allia said, giving Tarrin a meaningful look.
	That was an understatement.
	He hadnt been fully straight when he went through the doors at the Tower, so the door out of that room was an educational experience for him.  He was already so incredibly tall that he had to duck down to get through most doors, but now that he had wings that rose three more spans over his head, it made getting through any door without a little forethought absolutely impossible.  For a moment he stood at the doorway and considered how to go about this, then he wondered how he had gotten through the dining room doors back at the Tower.  He waited for the others go to through, then he thought back to how he moved the wings during the fight.  They only resembled wings, for in actuality they were mutable appendages, capable of changing their size and their shape to virtually anything he so desired.
	Tarrin stood there for a long moment.  No.  It could not be that easy.
	The wings did not have a set, immutable size.
	Tarrin?  Whats the matter? Jesmind asked.
	Im feeling just a little stupid, he said self-deprecatingly.  I got so wrapped up in the wings being there that I never considered a couple of simple aspects of them.
	I say, what do you mean? Phandebrass asked, pushing his way back to where he could see Tarrin.
	Closing his eyes, Tarrin showed him exactly what he meant.  Though he couldnt see it, he felt the wings respond to his command, and that command was to shrink down as far as they would possibly go.  He literally felt them withdraw, pull in, felt the living fire of them compress down as the slopes of the wings retracted towards his back, continuing to pull in, pull in, until they would go no further.  He assensed the feel of them that way, and realized, quite surprisingly, that they had pulled back until they were nothing but two elongated pools of living fire that were grafted to his back.  They did not alter the shape or slope of his back in any way at all, existing only as what would most generally resemble two long open wounds on his back, filled in with solid, unmoving fire.  The length and shape of those wound-like areas were the exact outer circumference of the wings.
	Dallstads axe! Elke swore as he heard several gasps.
	Tarrin opened his eyes and looked behind himself.  There was no hint of them at all. Retracting them taught him two critical things about the wings.  First, they they behaved exactly as they had when he was transformed.  They were not wings as much as they were extra limbs, which only took the shape of wings because it seemed proper for limbs that were attached to his upper back as they were to have that shape.  Secondly, he learned that the limbs werent gone, they were just as small as they could possibly be, little more than pools of that living fire that filled in the depressed, open areas of his back where the skin and flesh of his back had been burned away and replaced with the living fire that had become a part of him, where the wings had been attached to him.  There was light emanating from those two elongated areas, light from the fire, but that was the only hint of them that he could see in the way he was looking.
	Theyre gone! Jasana gasped.
	Theyre still there, cub, he said, turning around and showing her his back, so they all could see.  I forgot that the wings dont have a set size or shape.  They can be as big or as small as I want them to be, and I can change their shape.  This is as small as I can make them.
	I say, thats amazing! Phandebrass breathed, advancing back through the door.  Its like they were cut off at the base of them, it is!  And here, look, heres the living fire filling in the holes where they were!  May I? he asked, reaching out.  Tarrin nodded, and allowed Phandebrass to put his hands on those areas.  It still feels the same, that same warm softness, he announced to the others, poking at the fire with a single finger.  I say, you cant make it completely disappear, can you? he asked.  I would love to see the living flesh right at the border where it joins to this living fire, I would!
	Tarrin shook his head.  No.  This is the smallest I can get them.
	Well, thats nothing an unburned vest cant hide, Kimmie said speculatively.
	Is there an upper limit to how big you can make them? Phandebrass asked, scribbling furiously in his journal.
	I dont know yet, but probably, he answered.
	I say, well, lets talk about--
	Later! Camara Tal said sharply.  Bug, seal up his vest so those burning holes in his back are hidden.  It wont burn through the vest, will it? she asked him.
	I say, if it were that hot, I wouldnt be able to touch it, Phandebrass reminded her.
	With you, mage, theres no such thing as an assumption, she said bluntly.  Youd burn off your finger just to see what happened if you did.
	Since when did I become a seamstress? Sarraya protested.
	You can seal up his vest, or look for all your missing teeth, Camara Tal threatened, taking a hand from the bundle that was her infant daughter and balling it up into a fist.
	Alright, alright, dont get a draft up your skirt, Sarraya said grumpily, flitting off from Tarrins shoulder and tending to the task at hand.
	He looked at Jesmind, who had a look of profound relief on her face.  The wings had obviously bothered her, but he had the feeling that it was more of their physical presence than the change they represented.   He still needed to have a long talk with her about quite a few things, but for now, it seemed that the main point of worry for her had been lifted.
	For himself, for that matter.  As Sarraya sealed up the holes in the back of his vest, Tarrin himself felt a wave of relief wash over him, a relief that now what he was, the wings that signified the change in him, were concealed from the mortals.  They would accept him as a mortal because they simply would have no idea that he was something other than what he appeared to be.  He would know that he was different, but there was no obvious mark on him to give the Wikuni, or anyone else, a physical indication of that difference, and thus give them reason to fear him.  There would be no episode like there was in Torrian long ago, when a newly turned Tarrin had to walk down those stairs and face the humans for the very first time, to show them what had happened to him, what he had become.
	It did ease the turmoil within him somewhat, but did not change the stark reality of it all.  Though he could hide the wings, they were still there.  They still represented the dreadful change in him, the painful truth that he was no longer a mortal, yet not a god, and thus did not belong in either world, and he was still angry and bitter over what the Elder Gods had done to him, which had put them on his back.  There were still many issues for him to work out over all this, still many wrinkles in his life to iron out.  But for what it was worth, knowing that he did not have to step out that door and display that change to the world brought him a considerable measure of comfort and relief.
	For now, during the first hours of his adjustment to the change in his life, he could step out that door and pretend.
	Well, there goes the need for explanations, Jula noted clinically, but she had a wolfish smile.  I take it now we have no comment?
	None, Dolanna agreed.  The only ones whom we will tell about this are Keritanima, Rallix, Binter, Sisska, Azakar, and Lord General Darvon.  All others have neither the need nor the right to know.
	So its a secret? Tara asked.
	Yes, cubling, it is a secret, Dolanna agreed with a smile.  And we all know how good you and your sisters are at keeping secrets.
	I can! Tara said enthusiastically.
	Me too! Rina cried out, which made Dolanna look at her in surprise.  Rina had called out in Sharadi.
	Shes got a few tricks, Dolanna, Tarrin told her absently.  She knows bits and pieces of about six different languages.
	You teach her languages? she asked in surprise.
	No, she hears me speak them and then asks what I said.  She just has a very good memory.
	Rina absolutely beamed.  Jula and Papa are teaching me Duthak, she announced proudly.
	Thats true enough, Jula chuckled.  Shes a fast learner, too.  Just like her father.
	You and I are going to discuss Duthak, dear one, Dolanna told him primly.  But we digress.  Let us join Keritanima and see who else has arrived.
	Who else who else? Sarraya asked as they started down the hallway.
	Sapphire, Kimmie answered her.
	Shiika, Tarrin added.
	Shiika? Camara Tal said in surprise.
	Tarrin nodded.  She was at mothers when we picked them up.  She said she was going to surprise Kerri.
	That she did, Elke affirmed.
	I dont think Sapphires ever met Shiika, Dar said, pursing his lips.  It could get ugly.
	I doubt that, Jenna told him.  Sapphires probably not all that interested in Shiika, and Shiika would probably know better.  Sapphires not the kind you upset, not even if youre a Demon.  Dragons have nasty ways of finding ways to kill you if theyre angry.
	Shiikas better worry more about Kerri, Dar chuckled.  As much as those two have wrestled over politics, she may ask her to be there when she gives birth so she can strangle her and blame it on the labor pains.
	That caused most of them to laugh, and it reminded Tarrin of Dars subtle and understated sense of humor.  Dar was incredibly funny sometimes.
	Only a few of them did not know Keritanimas palace, so the group navigated itself without error to Keritanimas private apartment.  It hadnt changed since she took the throne, because it was still one of the most defensible apartments in the palace, and Keritanima was much too fond of it to give it up for the Royal apartments that her father hand once occupied.  The presence of two Royal Guardsmen at the door announced to them that Keritanima was there.  The two Wikini, a wolf Wikuni and what looked like either a ferret or otter Wikuni, uncrossed the pikes they had crossed before the door and saluted sharply to the group as they reached them.  Margrave Tarrin, her Majesty awaits you, the wolf Wikuni announced in a sharp, crisp voice.  You may pass.
	What is a Margrave, Papa? Tara asked.
	A silly title Kerri gave me to make me sound important to the Wikuni, he answered as the weasel-like Wikuni opened the door.  Tarrin didnt miss the sly, amused smile on the wolfs face as they passed.
	Keritanima hadnt changed the room a bit since the last time hed been there, some six days ago, but then again, it hadnt changed since the first time hed seen it.  Keritanima was there, naturally, sitting on the couch with Rallix sitting beside her, and Binter and Sisska standing protectively behind them.  He saw Azakar sitting on the couch opposite them, wearing a black doublet and breeches instead of armor.  Keritanima looked even bigger now than she had the last time he visited, her belly looking like shed stuck that big globe that Phandebrass had up in his laboratory under her sturdy wool dress.  It was probably a scandal that the queen was wearing wool, but since she was pregnant, nobody was probably going to say all that much about it.  When a woman was that late into her pregnancy, she often sacrificed appearances for comfort.
	Hello everyone, she called with a toothy grin.  Excuse me if I dont get up, but that takes me a little while this this thing here getting in the way, she added, patting her distended stomach gently.
	They gathered around her, Tarrin and Allia taking her hands in turn and kissing her on the furry cheek, but Keritanima was giving Tarrin strange looks.  Tarrin reasoned that Jenna might have told her at least something about what had happened when she told her they were about to leave, but he wasnt sure.  She did her best to hug Jenna and Jula from her seated position and then greeted his parents warmly as they also greeted Rallix, Binter, Sisska, and Azakar.
	After the round of greetings, Keritanima asked Tarrin and Sarraya to Conjure up some couches and chairs so everyone could sit down, which they didnt mind doing.  Tarrin Conjured up a nice chair for himself, sized for him, which he turned around and sat in backwards, putting his arms on the back of the chair and leaning against them.  Alright, Keritanima said crisply after they all got comfortable.  He felt her set her will against the Weave and weave together a Ward to prevent eavesdropping, which she set around her entire apartment.  Now then, deshida, explain to me why you smell like you just came out of a blast furnace.  It wouldnt have anything to do with why Jenna seemed so out of sorts when she contacted me, would it?
	Tarrin smiled slightly as his parents gave Keritanima a rather startled look.  Keritanima rarely missed anything.  This morning was rather, eventful, he told her, but Keritanimas amber eyes seemed to bore into him, and he realized that she was looking right through him and into the heart of the matter.  Keritanima and Allia could always tell when he wasnt showing what he was really feeling.  He looked at Azakar.  You dont have to worry about Stragos Bane any more, Zak, he told him.
	I take it you met him in Suld recently? Azakar asked.
	Tarrin nodded.
	Is there anything left?
	Tarrin blew out his breath.  It came a mouses whisker from being the other way around, Zak, he admitted.  It was very ugly.
	What happened? Keritanima asked quickly, intensely, her eyes narrowing slightly as she took on a very serious expression.
	It can wait, he told her.  How are you?
	Im fine.  Now talk, she ordered.
	Tarrin bowed his head and closed his eyes.  It was bad, Kerri, he said quietly.  Very bad.  He opened his eyes and looked at her and Rallix, and saw that Azakar moved to their couch so he could look at Tarrin.  That put all five of them before him, and they were looking at him with curiosity and concern, even Binter and Sisska.
	Before he begins, let it be said now that what he is about to tell you cannot leave this room, Dolanna said immediately.  Is this clear?
	I wouldnt break Tarrins trust, Rallix said mildly as Azakar, Binter, and Sisska  nodded to her.  Binter and Sisskas discretion in the matter was as absolute as absolute could be when they nodded in understanding.
	With little emotion, his eyes flat and nearly dead, Tarrin explained what happened between him and Stragos Bane.  He didnt embellish, forcing Keritanima to ask questions to get at the truth of the matter, but her words failed her when he got to the part where Bane stripped him of the Firestaff and revealed himself to be the horrid creation of the dead god Val.  They looked outraged when he explained quite bluntly how the gods had abandoned him to his fate, left him to face the nightmare of Vals shadow alone, and they were fearful when Tarrin quite nonchalantly described how the sword touched his power to Summon itself to the battlefield, then revealed its power to the world, which allowed Tarrin to touch on some of the power he lost when he destroyed himself and Val.  Both Rallix and Azakar looked thunderstruck at that, but Keritanima looked very frightened.  He continued, making sure to explain that he had no idea what to do, how to use the awesome power that he had at his command, and rather ruefully related how he had blundered and stumbled up to the point where he realized the key to beating Vals shadow and Summoned the Firestaff away from it.  After that, there was little to tell, and he finished the tale by describing how the sword had closed that door between him and his power once Vals shadow was destroyed, which caused him to pass out.
	When I woke up, the Goddess came to me and explained things to me, he said in a grating, dangerous voice.  Thats when I found out what the Elder Gods did.  They let that thing survive, let it run around and kill people to serve as a test for me, to see if I could destroy it, and see if I had any kind of powers stemming from my condition.  They never expected it to take the Firestaff from me, and they certainly didnt expect the sword to change me like it did.  He closed his eyes again.  Thats not all.  When the sword changed me back, it didnt change me back all the way.  It--well, theres no easy way to explain it.  I think I should just show you.
	Show us what? Rallix asked.
	Tarrin stood up and pushed the chair away.  He was almost afraid to do it, to reveal his secret, and he had no idea why.  These were friends, family, trusted and cherished.  Was it that same fear of rejection hed felt before facing the others in the Tower?  It had to be.  But there was no help for it.  Sooner or  later, they would see him, they would see his secret, they would know the terrible truth of him.  Better now than later.
	It only took a single thought.  In an instant, the pools of fire on his back flared hot enough to incincerate the vest laying atop them, and then the wings flowed out from behind him, resuming the size and shape they had held before he caused them to shrink down.
	All four gaped at him, and for the first time in his entire life, he had seen Vendari get surprised.  Tarrin spread the wings fully out, and then folded them behind him.  He let them stare at them, at him, for a long moment, then he pulled the chair back up to him and sat down on it once again, the ends of the wings bending against the floor.  Theyre permanent, he said in a low, wan voice.  They became a part of me when the sword changed me, so much that they didnt go away when it changed me back.  As you saw, I can make them retract, almost like retracting my claws, but theyll never go away.
	They were all quiet for a long time, as Keritanimas eyes flashed and narrowed and her brows knitted, signs she was in deep, intense thought.  Have they affected your cat form? she asked finally.
	Tarrin gave a 